This page is in draft, and under construction
Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse or Power Derangement Abuse
We have extensive experience supporting clients in recovery from narcissistic abuse. We recognize narcissistic abuse happens in ways that are often confusing and invalidating to the scapegoat or target and witnesses. Narcissistic abuse has predictable patterns that everyday logic will not identify. It operates often one on one and in systems/groups. With understanding and care for the nuance needed to address ongoing attack/s, psychological and emotional specialized supported through mediation/legal processes (we do not offer legal counsel), and the tangled relational trauma recovery path afterwards, we are skilled and practiced in supporting clients through these dilemmas.
Context Matters
Each Narcissistic Abuse experience is also contextually specific. We have experience supporting folks in care from Family of Origin or Primary Caregiving/Caregiving Systems Narcissistic Abuse where caregiving may be a confusing misnomer for what has actually occurred. We also serve folks recovering from partner or spousal narcissistic abuse and DV. We serve folks recovering from Institution Level Narcissistic Abuse — arguably everyone, all species and the earth and universes..and beyond right now and in certain times throughout history are and have been subject to exposure to politicians abusing power and disregarding human rights enshrining international law. This can also occur in the workplace when corporations and business sectors are beholden or otherwise committed to operate along exploitative lines from extraction to production and consumer marketing. So workplace and policy abuse is also another context for narcissistic abuse recovery and navigation.
>>>> Possible co-occurring challenges to navigate:
There may be financial abuse and other corollary abuses that come with these traumas. The destabilization can be another factor to address. Plans for care may need to be discretely supporter/crowd funded or put onto a payment plan to support both the person recovering and the health care practitioners involved to move forward sustainably.
Some people are continuously tracked or antagonized by community members, family or co-workers who have been enrolled by the narcissist to abuse the target. They may unwittingly feel righteously justified to defend someone, without considering that the abuse is coming from the person with more power in the situation and that their behavior is amplifying the harm rather than addressing what is really causing it. The person marginalized and emotionally worn down by the situation is often not the person who enacted the bullying. They may be trafficked or harmed by enrolled community members.
There may be physical abuse, STDs or other chronic health conditions to co-address from the narcissistic abuse and/or DV. Often partners of narcissistic people report feeling drained, worn, and may have puzzling chronic health or autoimmune conditions that set in while compromised. Integrative Medical Parts Work is often supportive in these situations. Of course, physical injury and disease may also benefit from adjunctive measures of care and Integrative Medical Parts Work.
While burdened by the trauma, clients may also need to martial additional executive functioning, while freyed and worn, to gather evidence or information for legal, mediation or forward planning of care matters.
Neurodiverse targetting is often challenging. Clients who interpret words very literally may find themselves more likely to be taken advantage of, misunderstood or even bullied. It is a very unfrotunate time and context we are in collectively that those who are more vulnerable are not understood and protected by the community from these abuses. That is one of the advantages of restoring community or finding others in the community who understand and not only protect, but honor and celebrate differences in executive functioning and the value different points of view offer.
Disability and chronic health targetting is also challenging. Clients may be targetted, singled out, unacknowledged for their needs. Often this intersects with matters of disability justice and civil law breaches.
Racialized minority targetting is aslo a challenge. There is/was historic marginailization that was and is entrenched by policy and societal practice. There are also instances of localized harm wherein racialized harm is enacted laterally onto other community members and it may not follow the more documented forms of racialized systemic abuse. Narcissism in all its forms is damaging.
Gatekeeping power abuse is also a concern when it comes to racialized harm and people from a historically marginalized group who have narcissistic inclination or who are re-enacting internalized narcissistic power abuse when in roles, institutional or societal, of authority. They my enact harm towards the very community they come from or other adjacent marginalized community members. Not all people from marginalized communities enact this violence from positions of power. Narcissism or narcissitic traits or behaviors are what underlie the abuse ultimately.
Underlying trauma overlay may occur, making it challenging at times for the target to parse what is current or past or making the intensity of the feelings confusing or more challenging. With care, there may need to be dual support for both the past trauma that is resurfacing and the current traumatic situation that is activating. It is often very possible to work with both in a delicate balance.
>>> Some subsections of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery that are supported
> Betrayal, Partner and Spousal Abuse, DV and ongoing antagonizing or stonewalling
This work is nuanced both in real time and after. There are realistic ways of meeting and addressing inner emotional and gaslighting wounding and the physical care may also be a real component that needs to be addressed immediately first. If dependents are involved, their safety needs also need to be thought out both short and long term. That process may involve a team of care providers who work collaboratively to support the individual and dependents to access more and more safety, as much as possible. That care is nuanced. In the next phase, there may be needs to maintain protection, work through feelings of grief in terms of loss of an entire community or sense of community, partnership or sense of partnership, dreams, hopes, emotional, psychological and physical losses. Again, a team of support care may be very helpful for this phase of care for the individual and each dependent, according to their situational and personal needs and interest to engage with different forms of care. For example, care for children may be more in the form of play or co-presencing in ways that decrease the intensity, whereas adults fleeing narcissistic abuse may need more direct address of care and the polarized parts that kept them in partnership and the parts that longed for safety. These feelings are all understandable and very commonly experienced in these situations. There may or may not be access to legal, mediation or advocacy based care. That phase of care also needs careful nuanced consideration for how narcissistic individuals operate. With awareness of how these individuals and systems work, the client may be less surprised and more sure-footed when navigating or applying techniques like grayrock or narcissist whispering appropriately. During and post this phase, there may be needs for physical abuse recovery as well as the psychological and emotional component, to address potential relational and situational trauma reverb care needs and to manage ongoing antagonizing and/or debilitating stonewalling of access to shared parental care realistically. With time, contextual understanding, integrative care and support, recovery is a possibility.
> Workplace Narcissistic/Bullying/Gangstalking Abuse Recovery
This subsection of narcissistic abuse, often requires additional understanding of institutions and operational power dynamics. EWB is skilled and practiced with offering this care, and we recognize this recovery, like all narcissistic recovery requires a whole safety net of support. We may work in collaboration with organizations that offer tailored support group care and other resources, such as Dignity Together. Individuals may struggle with deeply debilitating losses, as in many forms of Narcissistic Abuse, and may not be able to address the institution from within the framework, as their may be manipulation of policy and workplace culture that furthers and entrenches the violence. Often, clients may need to find and create safe spaces to heal and utilize realistic understanding of institutions to address what realistic outcomes might exist. With care, it may be beneficial to encourage thsoe gifts, skills and talents that were suppressed at work to find avenues of expression that are more affirming, to recover the engagement of those gifts, skills and talents from being identified with the overal traumatic experience. This may or may not be possible or desired by the person recovering. That is also an aspect of the recovering to be addressed.
Coming soon…
> School, social and learning group Abuse Recovery
These can seem incidental and confusing, but this does exist, and can be enacted by narcissists, or people enacting narcissistic behaviors.
> Institutions and Entities of Politically Enacted Narcissism Abuse Recovery
Examples of this are people recovering from land theft, ethnic cleansing, genocide, effects of aggressive and careless extraction, home and community destruction, slavery, indentured servitude, trafficking , family separation, disappearance, labor violence, narcissistically imposed sanctions (engineered to hinder healthy co-existence of other sovereign bodies and maximize wealth hoarding and sequestration for purely selfish means), reduction or decimation of community support, social and education services…
>>> A word about BPD
>>> A word about MCAS, PCS and TBI,… and mood disorders
>>> A word about substance use and coping
There can be crossover behaviors, however their origin is very different.
What is Narcissism
what it looks like
different definitions
who can provide medical diagnose
with or without diagnosis, identifying the patterns and seeking support is helpful
possible etiology
groomed
biological
learned/inculcted
treatment vs magical thinking
History
Usury
Vamps, demons and other frameworks
What does help with Narcissistic Behavior, Trait and State Healthy Change towards more Relational Compassion and Care for vs Attack of Vulnerability
Scheduling
Generally folks schedule for ongoing weekly sessions and will commit for several weeks when getting started and even several years when seeking complex trauma or chronic health recovery support.
Session pricing is tiered to make it equitable. Discount packaging and sliding scale are available, please ask during the free intro call if interested.
Waitlist and Response Time
Thank you for your courage to reach out for support!!!!
When you submit a request, please look for a response in your inbox within six weeks. Emails go out to all people on the waitlist as openings arise. Please check your spam box in case the response gets lost in there!
Please make sure to fill in the form with both phone and email contact options, if possible. If your phone number is outside the U.S., please use the additional notes field to include a Whatsapp or Signal number with country code. If you haven't heard back from our practice within two months, it’s likely that there was a tech glitch or typo on the form. Please feel welcome to submit a request again! To increase your chance of receiving a response, please also include a reason for requesting support.
We will try our best to contact you to set up a free intro call as soon as we have an opening.
Thank you again for your interest. We offer best wishes for your healing journey.